Hello you have stumbled across my beautiful homepage dedicated to hating TMBG. My name is TMBGaresuck and I run a famous Tumblr page dedicated to my controversial views.

Why do I hate them?

Basically, a bunch of years ago my best friend's cousin Suzanne and her besties were going to the local stripmall to buy mattresses or something I don't know what they were going there for, but that's not important. What's important is that on their way there, a guy from the local arts college jumped out of the bushes. He had a shitty hairdo, red turtleneck, and his pants had a little accordion sewed into them. How cute, right? ERRR wrong! He attacked Suzanne with a rock! And she suffered permanent brain damage. She didn't have to relearn to walk or anything but she became a 'Swiftie' (which if you don't know that means she likes Taylor Swift) and hates good music.

So why would this lead me to hating TMBG? Well I did a deep dive in TMBG and uncovered all of their dirty little secrets, such as they can clone people, use hypnosis to control the crowd, and even kidnapped Dan Miller.

What did they do?

Nonexhaustive list of what they did

Kidnapped Dan Miller and forced him to play in their band

Killed Dan Hickey with wood varnish fumes

Made clones of themselves to run Dial-A-Song which they kept in a closet

It's well known Marty Beller kills people

They encourage DUIs

Made songs about boring stuff

Make music for little kids despite being so crass and vulgar

They dress funny

When you order a CD, you have a random chance of getting a bunch of sand actually

They caused my parents to split (as in divorce, they did not get sliced in half)